“When I got home that night as my
wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I’ve got
something to tell you.
She sat
down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my
mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was
thinking.
I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my
words,
instead she asked me softly, why? I
avoided her question.
This made her angry. She threw away
the chopsticks and shouted at me,
you are not a man! That night, we
didn’t talk to each other.
She was weeping. I knew she wanted to
find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore.
I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt,
I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that
she could own our house, our car, and
30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry
for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not
take back
what I had said for I loved Jane so
dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of
release.
The idea of divorce which had
obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very
late and found
her writing something at the table. I
didn’t have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful
day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there
at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over
and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her
divorce conditions:
she didn’t want anything from me, but
needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one
month
we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had
his exams
in a month’s time and she didn’t want
to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had
something more,
she asked me to recall how I had
carried her
into out bridal room on our wedding
day.
She requested that every day for the
month’s duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door every morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just
to make our last days
together bearable I accepted her odd
request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce
conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies,
she has to face the divorce, she said
scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body
contact
since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mommy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room,
then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly;
don’t tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office
On the second day, both of us acted
much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell
the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn’t looked at
this woman carefully for a long time.
I realized she was not young any
more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face,
her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on
her.
For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her
up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given ten
years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day,
I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again.
I didn’t tell Jane about this.
It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one
morning.
She tried on quite a few dresses but
could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger.
I suddenly realized that she had
grown so thin,
that was the reason why I could carry
her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me…
she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and
touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and
said, Dad,
it’s time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was
afraid
I might change my mind at this last
minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the
hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly
and naturally.
I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me
sad.
On the last day, when I held her in
my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. I held
her tightly and said,
I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the
car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me
change my mind…I walked upstairs.
Jane opened the door and I said to
her,
Sorry, Jane, I do not want the
divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and
then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said.
I moved her hand off my head. Sorry,
Jane,
I said, I won’t divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably
because she and I didn’t value the
details of our lives,
not because we didn’t love each other
anymore.
Now I realize that since I carried
her into my home
on our wedding day I am supposed to
hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door
and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write
on the card.
I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you
out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home,
flowers in my hands, a smile on my
face,
I run up stairs, only to find my wife
in the bed -dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for
months
and I was so busy with Jane to even
notice.
She knew that she would die soon and
she wanted
to save me from the whatever negative
reaction from our son,
in case we push through with the
divorce
At least, in the eyes of our son—-
I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are
what really matter in a relationship
It is not the mansion, the car,
property, the money in the bank
These create an environment conducive
for happiness
but cannot give happiness in
themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend
and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy.
If you are not in a relationship now,
remember this for the second (or
third) time around. It's never too late.
If you don’t share this, nothing will
happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a
marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people
who did not realize
how close they were to success when
they gave up
